Honesty

I think honesty is important in relationships - in any relationship. 

In retrospect, I have not always been a very honest person.  Not in terms of telling others outright lies; my lies have present themselves in  more subtle, but no less damaging ways.  The subtlety comes in what I choose to show people.  In the peer counseling course I am taking, the material continues to ask people to look for the "hidden message."  Finding the "hidden message" is one of the keys to helping the client realize the healing that God has for them.  There's an entire section devoted to this - to listening to what the client isn't saying and to seeing behind the mask that the client wears. 

I like to be in control - of my own life, of my own choices, etc... But control requires effort, and unfortunately, effort does not always equate to true control.  Most people would even say that the most that effort can yield is the image of control (the mask I wear for others).  And we are a society obsessed with image/masks.  To the point that it's rare nowadays to find people who are genuine and not obsessed with their own image. 

I was walking around today, and the idea that I actively try to hide certain aspects of my life from God suddenly popped into my head.  I was walking back to the office after stopping at my bank to run an errand, and all I could think of was how much I dreaded going back to the office and having to work.  But as soon as I thought those things, guilt crept into my heart and I immediately tried to convince myself that I should not be anxious because God would take care of it.  The latter point is true enough (and I do believe it) but it seemed comical to me that I was actually trying hard to convince God that I was okay.  As if my convincing the Lord that I was "not anxious" would actually lead to me really not being anxious.  The thought floored me - it was pathetic yet incredibly comical at the same time.  It seemed hilarious that I would, (i) that God relied solely on the information I gave Him for Him to ascertain my well being, and (ii) that I could actually convince God that I was fine.

Galatians 5:1 says "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free."  Free to not wear masks anymore.  Free to go to the Father and, in all honesty, say: "I am anxious.  I know I shouldn't be. I know I have no right to be.  But I am very very anxious."  Because if I can't say that to the Father, if I feel like I have to convince my Heavenly Father that I am fine, if I feel like I can't be honest with Him, then our relationship will always suffer.  Honesty is important in relationships, and He has always been honest with me.  He has always spoken the truth, in love, to me.

I'm thankful that His honesty allows me to trust and, in response, be honest with Him.