Interesting Times

SCOTUS just decided two huge cases on gay rights involving California's Proposition 8 and DOMA.

I once asked my NYU law roommate what he thought about using the democratic system to legislate on moral issues.  In hindsight, I think that was a really naive question as that is something that every country and every government does on a daily basis.  I think; however, the more interesting question is where does morality come from?

My personal view is that it comes from God - He who made us in His image.  The tricky part about that view, especially in my own personal life, is accepting all of God and not just the small, discrete parts that I understand and/or agree with. 

Thank You for law.  And grace.

Worth

God said to Moses, "I AM WHO I AM." And he said, "Say this to the people of Israel, "I AM" has sent me to you." - Exodus 3:14

When Jesus said to them, "I AM (he)," they drew back and fell to the ground. - John 18:6

God's existence is not dependent on anyone or anything other than Himself.  No one else can say that.  That's why He alone is worthy of all praise.

"If we could see how much You're worth, Your power, Your might, Your endless love, then surely we will never cease to praise You." - Let Everything that has Breath

Comfort

Comfort and the familiar draw me away from God and into self-reliance and pride.

America is too comfortable for me.  In China, I have to rely on God on even the most basic of things - like clean air, clean water, safe food, etc...  These basic reminders of my necessity for the grace of God in my everyday life remind me that I must rely on His love and grace for my spiritual life as well.  

But in America, I get too comfortable.  Water from the tap is perfectly safe to drink, I never really have to worry about contaminated food, and the air I breathe doesn't hurt my lungs.  And if any of these problems ever arise, I think most Americans (including myself) would trust that the problems can be solved if enough money is thrown at them.  In short, the citizens of the wealthiest country in all of history do not appear to need to rely on God for their everyday life.

But I'm not comfortable in my comfort - I don't want to rely on myself.  I want to be dependent on His grace and provision in my everyday life and in my spiritual life.

Lord, I believe; help me in my unbelief.  

In the Light of His Glory and Grace

Turn your eyes upon Jesus;

Look full in His wonderful face;

And the things of earth will grow strangely dim;

In the light of His glory and grace.

Stubborn Pride

In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord; in the night my hand is stretched out without wearying; my soul refuses to be comforted. (Psalms 77:2 ESV)

Sometimes, in pride, my soul refuses to be comforted.  Sometimes, in self-pity, my soul refuses to be comforted.  Both instances dishonor the cross.

Thank you for being the greatest comfort of all.

Back in NYC!

After 3.5 years, I am finally back in NYC (albeit only for a short few days).  What an incredible city.  What an incredibly expensive city too...

I never quite felt at home in NYC - to me it always seemed too fast, too crowded, too busy.  Funnily though, I can say the exact same things about Shanghai, yet Shanghai does feel a bit more 'homey' to me.  Maybe it's because home is just people - people that you love and that love you back?  Or maybe it's because I've now spent more time in Shanghai than in NYC?  Either way, neither NYC or Shanghai can compare to Texas when it comes to 'home'.   

At the same time, it's helpful for me to remind myself that NYC, Shanghai, Texas, etc., are all just temporary homes - they elicit feelings of longing for "belonging" in me, but none of them can quite satisfy my true longing for a perfect home.

Thank You for welcoming me back home.

Raw

I love how uncompromising my Christian brothers and sisters are in their lives.  I especially love it when they stand uncompromising in the face of certain persecution and judgment.  Astonishingly thought, these are the same people that exhibit an incredible tenderness towards the world. 

To me, they're raw.  Raw in showing the world who they are.  Raw in exposing their hearts for the world to exploit.  Sheep in the midst of wolves, yet wise as serpents and innocent as doves. 

Raw in admitting that they don't have all the answers.  Raw in confessing what they do believe in.  Raw in rebuking.  Raw in encouraging.  Raw in celebrating.  Raw in mourning.

If you're blessed like I am to be surrounded by such people all the time, you can't help but be impressed by God's work in them.  Nor can you help but desire what they have that moves them to be so raw. 

Christians always attract people, because God in them is attractive.  That's why, to me, ministry is who you are. 

Thank You for Your bride.
 

Focus

Paul in 2 Corinthians 4-5 teaches us to focus on eternity.  To walk by faith, not by sight. 

Sometimes I hate Paul.  For being so damn right.  I know I sound petulant and whiny, but it is how I'm feeling at the moment.

"And from His fullness we have all received, grace upon grace." John 1:16.

Grace enough for Paul to walk by faith and not by sight.  Grace enough for me to focus on eternity.

Thank You for grace.  Even if I don't feel like focusing on it.

Difficult News

I don't know of any other way to face difficult circumstances other than to trust in Jesus Christ - without Him, there is no hope - no hope for any of us.  With Him, every tear will be wiped away.

My friends received some terrible, earth-shattering news last week.  On their website, they frankly discuss their fear, confusion, heart-brokenness and isolation in light of the circumstances they are now facing.  Yet, in light of tremendous, difficult uncertainty, they ask for God's intercession - they ask for God's healing hand.  They still hope on Him. 

These past few days have brought difficult circumstances in my own life as well.  Though the personal circumstances my friends and I each face cannot even begin to be compared (nor would I want to), yet one thing we both share is that we both trust in the same God.  And the character of the object of our shared faith makes all the difference. 

I pray, LORD, have mercy.  For Your Son's sake.

Living a Full Life

I turned 29 on Saturday.  I wasn't able to spend it with my blood family, but my brothers and sisters in Christ really made my birthday extremely special.

After some crazy celebrations, a sister asked me what was the point of having earthly desires if they hinder us from pursuing God's desires (my friends are all incredibly deep).  I thought about the question and tried to explore the motivation behind it.  For me, the question would perhaps arise out of the frustration of not having desires fulfilled or perhaps out of struggling with fulfilling desires in a sinful way.  In a way, I am ashamed that I never even thought to ask this question - I always assumed that my desires were God-given and therefore good.

But now that the question has been posed, I feel compelled to seek my own answer.  For me, I think the desires in my heart have always been placed there because I was created to worship God - my deepest longing has always been to be loved, and loved perfectly, and to love in return.  And perhaps, out of this deep core desire, stem the smaller everyday desires of my life.  I haven't yet quite worked out how the more base desires of my life (i.e. for comfort, for good food, etc...) can flow from my deep core desire.  Perhaps part of being loved perfectly and to love in return requires good food, comfortable settings, etc... I mean, the wedding supper of the Lamb is going to be pretty perfect - but is it perfect because God is going to be there with us or is it because of the rich food, large table, and amazing setting?  Maybe God's presence equals rich food and comfort.

God will reveal in His time.  In the meantime, I want to thank Him for continuing to help me fulfill a ton of my desires.  For helping me live a full life in Him and through Him.

Thank You for every good and perfect gift.

Wayward Bride

"Prone to wander, Lord I feel it; prone to leave the God I love."- Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing
--
"I have guarded them, and not one of them has been lost" - John 17:12

Thank You for guarding my wayward heart.

A New Song

And they sang a new song, saying,

"Worthy are You to take the scroll and to open its seals, for You were slain, and by Your blood You ransomed people for God from every tribe and language and people and nation, and You have made them a kingdom and priests to our God, and they shall reign on the earth."

Revelation 5:9-10 (ESV)

New songs are needed when the old songs we've sang to praise Him are no longer adequate.  When God reveals more of His glory and goodness, glory and goodness that one did not experience before, a new song is needed to match the revelation.

So sing a new song to Him.  For great is the Lord and He is worthy to be praised.

Thank You for creation.

Change My Heart Oh God

Old school worship song this past Sunday at SCF:  Change My Heart Oh God

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.  The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." - 2 Corinthians 5:17 (ESV)

Thank You for my new heart.

Sunday Mornings

Lazy Sunday mornings are my favorite time of the week. 

I don't think I could ever go back to 9 or 10 am services.

Thank You for SCF!